Introvert Manual: Metathesiophobia

Yes it is a word
Yes it is a phobia
Fear
So much fear in the world
So much nonsensical
Illogical
Fear
Fear, anger
Madness
Complete madness
Is uncontrollable
Is unexpected sometimes
And it’s so cliche on others
I know it
I am aware
And I can not controlled it
There is no control
No reasoning
No appropriate response
There is only
Nonsensical fear
There is no telling
What response will come later
There is avoidance
There is stress
I’m trying to be prepare but nothing works
There is no space for happiness
All the fear, stress anxiety
Grows inside
It needs a way out
With tears, or cries
Or bitching about it
And there is no way to change it
Because that is the freaking fear

Fear of change

About the Little Mermaid

Hating on the Little Mermaid. Not hating, really, but the whole idea of a young beautiful spoil princess wanting adventure and falling in love (like the Disney version of the little mermaid, and almost all the other princesses) is a bit ridiculous, and also very very improbable.
To start with, the little mermaid, Ariel, is a mermaid princess and is the youngest of 7, with a loving father and an obsession with land and human objects. In the movie, as the youngest princess she does not have much to do but perhaps rehearse her songs for performances. She has plenty of freedom and her hobby is to go to dangerous places to scavenge wrecked sunken ships for human items to add to her collection, which is already big enough to fit a whole cave.
Ok, so she is young and has time and is attracted by the unknown land world objects.

Then when the father, King Triton, finds out, he is furious. Now, as an adult I do understand his fury, first, anything land related was forbidden, out of fear and anger for the danger it possesses for merfolk. Second, he is also afraid for the safety of his daughter, who, in search for this items, constantly puts herself, and her friend in danger. Third, she is just constantly and deliberately disobeying straight orders. Fourth, as a princess she is given herself and her father a bad image, how can he rule if his own daughter disobeys the rules set to protect her.
Insert break here- a while ago a saw an article that described the life of princesses if there was a mother figure, or a more dominant mother figure in their lives and it nailed the little mermaid.
You see, if Ariel’s mother was alive, Ariel would probably be more interested in singing and in other merpeople and mother would be able to calmly persuade Ariel into just believing it was a crush and not the love of her life.
Well, Ariel as usual disobeys Triton and goes to the surface as a ship and fireworks appear. She falls in love with cute, prince (of course it had to be a prince) Eric. Storm comes, he is almost drowning and she saves him (a mix of Xenophilia and Nightingale Syndrome). Triton finds out about her obsession and love for human things and Eric and loses it. BOMB there goes the cave and all its items. A bit drastic, but hey is Disney and is a male figure dealing with his baby daughter having a crush with being who fall in the category of enemies.
Now, Ariel’s reaction, tears, of course tears and drama. Perfect setting to introduce bad choices in the form of the Villain’s (Ursula) henchmen, or hench-eels more like.
In an act of stupidity, courage, revenge and rebellion, she bets her voice and modifies her body for a chance to hopefully make the prince, whom she doesn't know at all, fall in love with her and live happily ever after, in a strange land.

Now some of the reasons why this is stupid:

• She doesn’t know Ursula 
• Her friends tried to persuade her from doing something stupid, she ignored them 
• It is a bet or gamble 
• There is a time limit 
• She is losing her voice 
• The contract is only for legs, not to be turn back if wanted. 
• She is going because she believes herself in love with a guy she doesn’t even know. She only saw him, and saved him. Doesn’t know who he is, or his family, doesn't know how he is, his behavior, character. What if he was already married or in love with someone else? What if he was a drunk with bad manners and bad character? 
• She doesn't know how life is on the land, she thinks, based on her song, that is easier because you can stay in the sun all day, but she is not considering the daily reality of actual people who need to wake up early and sleep late because they need to work to sustain themselves, also, not thinking of the list of chores that need to be done in that age, specially by women not in nobility. 
• Also, I don’t think she read the contract, remember the small letters? No one reads the small letter for terms and conditions.

Be what it may, she changed her tail and voice for legs. Luckily for her, and because it is a Disney princess movie for kids, she is found by none other than her handsome, well manner, single (and willing) prince Eric, who takes her to his castle and treats her like the princess she is. She loved it of course, but what if, what if he left her with the servants? What if instead of being served by others she had to served the others? Don’t think she would’ve liked land life. Truthfully if she would’ve been found by any other person, she would’ve been made fun of because she would’ve been considered deficient in many ways, she didn’t have a voice and didn’t know the culture, how to act, what were the essential things needed for day to day life, and what were they for. Basically she was a useless, mute, probably considered dumb, young woman. In the original story by Hans Christian Andersen, she suffers greatly and she wanted to be a human to have a soul, the deal was to have a man fall in love with her but not because she fell madly in love with him for saving him. Also, every time she was standing she suffer terrible pain, and in the end the guy married someone else. That is a real story on what it is like to change your whole life with a witch's deal for something that is most likely not going to happen.
Now the Disney version of course cannot show, at least not completely, and not at that time, the cruel realities of life.

By the way, did you notice how Prince Eric was obsessed with the person who saved him? He wanted the hero, had a hero’s obsession and was going to ask Ariel to be together only because he could not find the woman who saved him. Thought everyone basically told him she was better than nothing. Yes, they did like each other and had a great time but his face and the way he saw her when he decided he was going to stop looking (more like waiting) was more a face of someone settling. Also, by the end when she gets her voice back and reveals herself to be the mysterious hero woman, he is totally in love with her because of that.

In conclusion, Disneyfication makes everything be hopeful and wow what do you know it does happen. I mean is not bad to have hopes and dreams but truly, every decision she made could’ve gone horribly, horribly wrong.

Abuse in The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Boy oh boy, is the world mess up? Yes, yes it is.
Just watching some movies because I have little else to do, actually a lot but I’m so stress that I cannot do it.
The Hunchback of Notre Dame, a kids movie that should not be a kids movies because of all the mess up and more than real life themes it has. The point of the day is how mess up the world is, and how a few words can just F-up a person.
Frollo, that SOB who unfortunately was the only father figure to quasi was so wrong, and yet right, and that is the worst part. Let’s start.
Frollo is a judge in France and very religious (actually fanatic) who beliefs he is god send to purify the city. He is a fanatic because he only believes what he wants to believe, not a true religious person. So, for a fanatic person like him, anyone who does not follow his religious they way he does is a pagan. Now a pagan is just a person of the world, who usually follows other religious believes, but for many people or religious sects a pagan is usually identified as a person who worships worldly materials or even satanist. Any who, being classified as pagan in a world dominated by a certain religion, and religious fanatics is just not good.
Then Frollo kills a gypsy woman who ran to seek sanctuary for her and her baby, Frollo thought she was running away because she stole something and didn't want to give it back. When he realizes it was a baby he also saw that the baby was deformed (his words not mine), and in this instance we see why else the gypsy ran. She ran, yes because she is a gypsy and has a baby to protect, but also because she knows that in that time and place, her baby was bound to a cruel life. Him being different, a gypsy and a ginger was more than enough to get problems. Remember, red was the color of evil and red-heads were seeing as
Also, if you pay attention, the other gypsies that Quasi’s mom is traveling with could be relatives, or one of them could be Quasi’s dad. Now think about it, really think about it. Most if not all gypsies were brown/tan skin, dark hair, dark eyes. And then Quasi comes with light skin, red-hair, and green eyes. Yup, he was product of either an affair between the gypsy and a non-gypsy, or of rape, or maybe just a game of genes. Be what it may, he was just the perfect target for bullying.
So, Frollo comes to kills the mom, and because there was a witness, he becomes the evil step… I mean guardian/master of Quasi. Quasi does not have contact with anyone but Frollo. First step for abuse, isolation, which also turns to financial because Quasi is dependant on Frollo. Then, Mental, Emotional, and cultural abuse come in.
Frollo: Remember what I taught you, Quasimodo. You are deformed
Quasimodo: I am deformed
Frollo: And you are ugly
Quasimodo: And I am ugly
Frollo: And these are crimes for which the world shows little pity




Frollo has drill into Quasi’s head and heart that all that and a bag of chips. He constantly tell him he is unwanted by all, and makes sure he has no self esteem. Also, he makes sure that his heritage is either forgotten or hated, leaving Quasi with no identity of his own.
In the awesomely frustrated words of Esmeralda “what do they have against people who are different anyway?”
Why do they show all this pain and abuse in a kids movie?
Oh, yeah because they don’t understand yet all of it… and it has a happy ending.

Baahubali, and female power

Let’s talk about bad-ass female figures in movies.
I saw a bollywood movie, they are usually awesome specially because of some exaggerated effects. The movie was actually two in one, the story was nice, the main character male but there were some awesome badass female characters that really wow.
The movie was Baahubali. If you can watch it, both of them, although the guy ends up saving the day, the portrayal of female power and respect they demanded is something to really look for.
Let’s just talk about one, Sivagami Devi, Rajamatha (Queen Mother), was good, then bad, then manipulated but overall just a real good representation of female power. She was not perfect and one of her main flaws was her pride, thus easily manipulated. 

The story begins with her running away from some soldiers. She is wounded, with an arrow sticking from her back and carrying a baby. Then she sees the soldiers gaining on her. She hides, and when the soldiers are close she stabs one with the arrow she took from her back, takes his sword and kills the other. later she is trying to cross a river, but the current of the river and her weak state did not make it, she died while holding the baby long enough for someone to find. 

Skip to the time when the story is narrating another story about the beginning of the story, in other words watch the movie.

The story explains how Sivagami takes over the kingdom until either her son (Bhallaladeva) or nephew (Baahubali) are ready and worthy to take the throne. When Baahubali is born, his mother dies and she without questions takes him has her own son. Then she goes to have conference with the lords of the kingdom, some of them wanted her gone, but she was cunning and was prepared for that. In an attempt to kill her, one of them charges with a sword toward Sivagami carrying her baby boy. She just pulls her dagger from her dress and kills him without a blink. Woman, mother, carrying a baby kills a guy, gets blood on her face and only moves when baby starts making noise. She sits and starts breastfeeding her own baby and the one she decided to adopt.  Doesn’t care about the blood of bodies in the floor. No armor, no war appeared, her beautiful regular female clothing, one baby on each side and her gaze, daring them to say something. Later, people ask her to assume the throne but she decides that that one of her sons will assent, she is just there until they are of age, and just so no one questions her she says:
“My word is my regime!”

And then just sits there to see if there is any other idiot who wants to defy her command.



There are other instances where she just stares at people and that’s enough to have everyone quiet and in fear. She seems cold, calculative, which is a little understandable given the circumstances. She is the regent queen, raising two boys so one of them can take the throne, and walking around the politics of a kingdom. Then we also see her mother soft side when she is only with her sons, taking care of them or worrying for them.

I see that I'm not very good at describing the movie, but seriously watch the movie.
There are other female characters who are beautiful, strong, smart and definitely don't bow to man’s comment just because. They fight alongside each other. They make their demands very clear and unquestionable.

If you don't want to watch the movie just look for a summary of the story. However the summary would most likely leave some of the female strong scenes out and focus only on the main male character.

Cinderella- The story of abuse, but with a happy ending.

The story of abuse, but with a happy ending.

So the story has been told and retold in many ways, many times and with many deviations, but ultimately is a story of abuse, perseverance, resistance and hope.

I used to like it then hate it then like it again, it’s complicated. It seems my mind and heart want to love the story, but my logical and practical side say it’s stupid. I can argue both and give reason for love or hate, but right now I’m just stating some facts.

Ok, so, Cinderella’s “original’ story we are never going to find, unless you got a time machine and can trace it all the way back. No, disney did not created it, nope, neither did the Grimm Brothers, and i don't believe Perrault did, but imma look more into that, later.

Anyway, back to the stories. The many versions of Cinderella usually have an orphan girl who ends up with step-family or some relatives who dislike her, there are usually two other girls who torment her and the mother figure who really loathes her. There is one paternal figure, mom or dad, in the beginning of the story but only for a small amount of time and then Cinderella ends up separated from any true family. In most of the older stories she doesn’t even have other relatives or friends, making her completely isolated and thus the better target for abuse without care for consequences. Later stories there is one or two friends but they have little power in the storyline. Usually the friends help to ease the burden of life, but not of abuse. Either they are the same age and don't really know abuse or they are older but don’t know the steps to take when that kind of abuse is going.

The story however told, ends up being of abuse. Different types of abuse, it might not be the one when you hit someone, but you are not treating them with respect and kindness, and usually the main character is always been treated as inferior.

There are different types of abuse:

Physical -The most common I guess

Sexual

Emotional

Mental

Financial

Cultural or identify

I didn’t really know much about it but do a google search and you’ll see.

Anyway if you know any cinderella story you know there is always the financial abuse. Cinderella works her ass off fro other and she nevers sees a penny or even gratitude for it. Because she is usually very young in the story there is really not much she knows or can do about it. Also, this has been going on for some times and she is most likely accepted it as her life or doesn’t even realized she is being abused.

Later adaptations of the story also show emotional or mental abuse, some even go as far as identity abuse, because the evil figure hides or controls the true identity of Cinderella.

In the stories, Cinderella is usually only looking to survive day by day, I mean she doesn’t know any better than completing her chores in time and not being yell at. However there always comes a break in status quo and that is when Cinderella breaks the rules and goes to the ball, or does something she really wants. Different stories tell of different objectives, a ball or a dance are usually included but the reason for going is different. In the Disney story the ball is the reason, in others the ball is a means to an end. She goes because its her opportunity to show someone something, or to prevent something from happening. The point is, she breaks from the status quo and finally realizes how bad she has it. Most of the time she has the help of her fairy godmother, but other versions have substituted the fairy part for that one true BFF.

Then we have prince charming, who is unusually useless as many fairy tales would tell you.

Seriously what’s the deal with him? At least in the Disney’s Cinderella animated story he does nothing, seriously, not even look for her the whole idea was the king’s and the one to execute it was the duke. I want to give him a chance and think that maybe the followed one of the older version when he gets so sick of heartache that he can’t even get out of bed, but doubt it. Thankfully, later versions improve the idea of prince charming and that character is more involved in the story, going as far as actually helping Cinderella out of her min hell.

Back to my point.

My point is, that one of the things to get out of any Cinderella story is to look out for the signs of abuse and break it. Not everyone is a story with a happy ending, and Cinderella had to endure a lot of pain and abuse before getting her happy ever-after (however long that could be).

People don’t have to endure and hope for the best. Not everyone has a fairy godmother or BFF who helps us in bad situations till our prince charming (or the duke) comes to the rescue.

Everyone should be more aware of what abuse entails. Some people like I said before don’t even know they are being abused, they just think that that’s life. Sometimes they will have someone to help them out, but sometimes the break doesnt come and we end knowing about it too late.

Mulan 2 deserves a second chance.

Mulan II. I have seen it before and have to say I did not like it the first time I saw it. Well I did but at the same time it was bleh. It was ok, but I was expecting a little more since the first movie talk more about how a girl became a woman by trying to be an army man.  

So, Mulan II starts by getting engage to General Shang, so far cute. Then the parents see that they have a lot of differences that they’re not even aware of, and like good parents instead of telling them what to do, they give them advice on how everything needs a balance, not too nosy for in-laws. However, there comes Mushu, a little red dragon whose character in the movie seems to be a personification for “shit happens”. So, little greedy self-absorbed Mushu goes on and gets involved in Mulan’s life trying to separate them so he can continue in his current elevated position as guardian for Mulan. All his attempts to ruin their relationship end up being failure because somehow both are trying to see past that and still love each other. However, there are other people involved in their lives as well and that is when all hell breaks loose, and they decide they are not meant to be together, go figure. 
Then Mushu confesses his mischiefs, Mulan decides that it was Mushu’s fault and tries to make up with Shang, however more shit happens, and it seems he dies.  

Long story short, she tries to finish the assessment given by the emperor, Shang is alive and rescues her from that with Mushu’s help as well, they marry and live happily... whatever.  

Also, there are 3 princesses who were going to accept an arranged marriage to consolidate a union of countries, etc., and they do end up with the typical princess falls for the knight in shiny armor kind of setting. It was kind of cute/funny, but that is beside the point. 

My point was that Mulan 2 deserves to be seen again because, again, they show some part of as real as can get (considering it is Disney). I mean yeah princesses and breaking the status quo in a day are not every day real life, but the other problems are. The Mushu interfering in others’ relationships. There is always someone who is going to be Mushu trying to separate 2 people for the sake of personal gain. There is always going to be problems in a relationship. By that I don’t mean you are going to fight every day, but any relationship has problems because let’s face it no one is perfect and we all make mistakes. However, the nice part of the movie, the part we should see and consider, is when Mulan realizes that the majority of her problems were outside problems, and also when they did talk about everything and compromised, even if that was breaking a little of societal norms.  

So, even if Mulan II ended up being a little more romance and princess-y happily ever after, there were a little of real-life moments included that we can all see and think about it a little before making life-altering choices. 

Now, I have not seen it in a while so this is it for now... 

To be continue (or modify when I see the movie again) 

Mulan, as real as can be.

Why Mulan is so underrated? 

Disney princesses, beautiful, skillful in the art of sing, crafts, clean, and totally useless for their own survival. 

Ok, well maybe not all, but usually totally dependable in other people.  

Except for a few mostly from the latest movies where there has been more changes related to that. However I want to go back to one movie which for me has always been not very popular with kids, and very underrated with mostly everyone else, till recently, Mulan. 

I love it and I will always love it. Why? Because it actually shows you a real person, well as real as can be considering it is a Disney movie.  

Lets' start. 

Mulan is not a princess and *spoiler* she does not become a princess by marriage at the end of the movie, well she doesn’t even get the guy in the first one.  

She is the only daughter of a regular working family.  

She is trying to follow traditions by going to the matchmaker to hopefully get a guy, because in that place at that time that is what women did. Behave, get marry, have kids, ideally boys who can go into the army to protect their country and honor. this is not just me saying it, they do say it explicit in song form. Also, it is a reality many cultures had followed, still follow and most likely will follow for many more generations.  

The whole idea seems ridiculous for some, but it is so true even today. Since a young age, girls are usually told to behave and be all nice and princess-y, and men are supposed to be brave and strong like a knight in shiny armor. Times are changing but let’s be true to ourselves that is the way that has been for a long time and change, though good, takes time.  

Anyway, a lot of people even now use matchmaking, now there are apps and online sites instead of other women, but the idea remains.  

So, Mulan goes in all her real-world-clumsy glory, and messes it up. 

There, real life, real people. Not everyone can be a perfect princess, wife, or a perfect daughter 
(introduce Reflection song here) and Mulan is there to show the way, kind of.  

Let’s fast-forward and boom, she is in the army with Mushu, her pocket size dragon guardian. Why? To save her father from certain death. Though if you really think about it, what were the chances of the father to actually see battle? I think pretty slim. He had a reputation of being a warrior, he has fought before, and he was wounded. There could've been other positions for him instead of the battlefield, I think.  

So, Mulan is there on a harebrained idea that she, an only daughter whose sole experience is in household maintenance to try to impress a matchmaker, and failed, could somehow make it in the army. Maybe it was a passive attempt at suicide since she already lost the family honor by not getting a good match.  

Whatever it may be, let’s continue.  

So far we see that Mulan is making many mistakes and that is ok, because she is human.  

Training time. Unlike other movies and princess that get everything done in seconds with the help of their animal friends, Mulan suffered, and the animal help she got from Mushu, not very helpful. She had to do men training and failed at it, and tried again, and again, till she got it. She was told she was useless and was bullied and was given a ticket out, she could’ve just taken the ticket out and go back home alive, parent alive and none the wiser to say anything else about it, but no, now she was determined (very stubborn really) and wanted to prove herself. 

So, she practiced, she learned and eventually succeeded. She even made friends.  

Fast-forward to the “battle” with the Huns. Everyone is ready to die defending their country and she gets an idea, crafty. So, she gets injure but she saved the day, most of it. Later while injured, she is discovered and becomes an outcast, her friends now worried for her, but they can't say a word unless they too shared her punishment. However, she is left alive because of her previous achievements. She saved an army, basically defeated the Huns and when discover she was a woman her reward was "ok, imma let you live." See how unjust. All she did weighted nothing against the prejudice of being a woman, and in the eyes of others, an inferior, unworthy of any praise. Ok, she went against the societal norm, but no one else thought like her to save the day, they would all be death were it not because of her. if you really think a woman is not worthy, what about you and your sorry ass which she just saved?

Fast-forward to the castle invaded by the few surviving Huns. She tells them to follow and her friends do because they recognize that she is crafty, and her plan might work better than just brute strength to open doors.  

Here comes my favorite part, cross-dressing. How on earth did she find 4 dresses and make up for them? Who knows, who cares, it’s a movie, and they look gorgeous kicking butt in dresses.  

Then the rescue, when Mulan reveals herself to be the soldier of the mountain who defeated the Huns, Shan Yu, the leader of the Huns, did not laugh or cringe at the idea of a woman, he was just like “imma kill you for what you did”. No questioning her gender, or abilities, he saw her and that’s it. In their semi-defense, I believe I read something about the Huns being more gender equal than other cultures, and some women were also trained in army, so it was no surprise to him to see a woman destroying his army.  

Fast-forward again, emperor rescued, castle, semi-destroyed, Hun’s ass kicked. Mulan saved the day, again, the emperor and china, and one guy dares still complained that she is a woman. Dude, she just saved your butt. At least the emperor was logical enough to thank her and let her go live her life.  

So, she goes home to her daddy’s arm to live happ... normal?  

Well there. Mulan, ordinary girl, who learned a thing or two with trial and error, sweat and pain, like a real person not a girly princess.